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BlueandYellow
 Post subject: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:02 pm 
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Title says it all, post your favorite jokes. It can be insults, and it can be corny, funny, clever, or insulting. Blast away! I will start with a boring one but a bit clever.

So a man goes to see a therapist about a depression. His therapists recommends he goes to see the circus that is coming to town with Roxo the clown. Then the man says, "I am Roxo..."

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fan4life61
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:06 pm 
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women's sports

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FIGHTER OF THE NIGHTMAN

"on the ice now for buffalo, looking for the pass, and gets it, afinogenov, couldnt get the shot away, now HE DOES, HE SCORES!!!! HOLY MACKEREL ROLE THE HIGH LIGHT FILM, MAXIM AFINOGENOV, WHAT A MOVE!!!!.... thats not fair... that was unbelievable"
-R.J. and Lorenz


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Wozniak
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:11 am 
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why did tiger wood's wife use a 9 Iron to break the back window?
-she hated the Driver. BaDaCh

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Squanto
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:12 am 
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fan4life61 wrote:
women's sports


Beach volleyball would like to have a word with you.


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ironyisadeadscene
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:16 am 
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what do you call magic johnson in a wheelchair?

ROLLAIDS!

old, but awesome.

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Wozniak
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:18 am 
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Squanto wrote:
fan4life61 wrote:
women's sports


Beach volleyball would like to have a word with you.

the wnba wouldnt

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Crosscheck
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:19 am 
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Here's the best blonde joke I know anyway...

A blonde was speeding down the road in a red sports car and was pulled over by a blonde police officer. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde drivers license. So the blonde driver digs through the car and gets progressively more agitated. ''What does it look like?'...' the blonde driver finally asked.
The blonde police officer replied, ''It's square, and it has your picture on it.'' The driver finally found a square mirror in the car, looked at it and handed it to the blonde police officer. ''Here it is,'' the blonde driver said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go.... I didn't realize you were a cop."

;)

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SchonyGal
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:29 am 
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I only remember one joke and a lot of you have heard it before, but I love to repeat myself.

Q: Why, after all the years that Barbie and Ken spent together did they never have a child?




A: Because Ken always came in a different box.


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Wozniak
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:33 am 
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Crosscheck wrote:
Here's the best blonde joke I know anyway...

A blonde was speeding down the road in a red sports car and was pulled over by a blonde police officer. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde drivers license. So the blonde driver digs through the car and gets progressively more agitated. ''What does it look like?'...' the blonde driver finally asked.
The blonde police officer replied, ''It's square, and it has your picture on it.'' The driver finally found a square mirror in the car, looked at it and handed it to the blonde police officer. ''Here it is,'' the blonde driver said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go.... I didn't realize you were a cop."

;)

haha.



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Hammygoodness
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:42 am 
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I've got two, and one I heard on the radio that made me chuckle.

My all-time favorite joke: Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman.

Second favorite: What did the Mexican get for Christmas?
My bike.

Radio joke: A fellow is in the doctor's office.
"Mr. Edwards, you're going to have to stop masturbating."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I need to examine you."


My friend Dave came up with a joke: Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think we care.

But I had my own response to that one: Why do women fake orgasms?
Women have orgasms?!

Ham

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BlueandYellow
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:48 am 
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Mine is

When MJ died, they made him into plastic toys so boys could paly with HIM

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fan4life61
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:38 am 
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Squanto wrote:
fan4life61 wrote:
women's sports


Beach volleyball would like to have a word with you.


and i would love to have a word with them ;)

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FIGHTER OF THE NIGHTMAN

"on the ice now for buffalo, looking for the pass, and gets it, afinogenov, couldnt get the shot away, now HE DOES, HE SCORES!!!! HOLY MACKEREL ROLE THE HIGH LIGHT FILM, MAXIM AFINOGENOV, WHAT A MOVE!!!!.... thats not fair... that was unbelievable"
-R.J. and Lorenz


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BlueandYellow
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:42 pm 
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fan4life61 wrote:
Squanto wrote:
fan4life61 wrote:
women's sports


Beach volleyball would like to have a word with you.


and i would love to have a word with them ;)

:pray: :P

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H0CKEYisL0VEx24
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:48 pm 
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BlueandYellow wrote:
Mine is

When MJ died, they made him into plastic toys so boys could paly with HIM


Farrah Fawcett arrives in heaven and God grants her one wish. She wishes all the children on the Earth to be safe. So he kills Michael Jackson.


Why did Michael Jackson die at 3:15?
Because that's when the big hand touches the little hand!

These jokes aren't my favorite, but they're funny and they fit the theme.

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Howie Hodge
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:39 pm 
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What did Michael Jackson have in common with K-mart?



Little boys pants; half off.........

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CriminallyVu1gar
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:46 pm 
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fan4life61 wrote:
women's sports

damn u, beat me to it

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Sneaky E
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 5:27 pm 
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What do Ethiopian children and Yoko Ono have in common?
They both live off of dead Beatles.


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motzie12ak
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 5:38 pm 
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So this guy walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but clear plastic wrap wrapped around him. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says, "Well...I can clearly see your nuts!"

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sir, do you realize you have a Steering Wheel attached to the front of your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrr, its driving me nuts"


What's the difference between snowmen and snowwoman?
Snowballs!


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mrkwllb
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 10:24 pm 
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While flying on an airplane over the ocean the passengers heard "This is you Captain speaking, it seems we're running low on fuel and need 3 people to jump out so we can make it to land." A French man gets up walks to the door a shouts "Viva la France!" and jumps out the plane, an English man gets up so not to be out done by the French man and shouts "Chip-chip cheerio!", finally a big Texan with a big hat walks up shouts "Remember the Alamo!" and pushes out an Indian.

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Timbo Slice
 Post subject: Re: Favorite Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 11:38 pm 
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H0CKEYisL0VEx24 wrote:
BlueandYellow wrote:
Mine is

When MJ died, they made him into plastic toys so boys could paly with HIM


Farrah Fawcett arrives in heaven and God grants her one wish. She wishes all the children on the Earth to be safe. So he kills Michael Jackson.


Why did Michael Jackson die at 3:15?
Because that's when the big hand touches the little hand!

These jokes aren't my favorite, but they're funny and they fit the theme.


:lol:


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