It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 5:41 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Forum rules


Please click here to view the forum rules



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
Author Message
Squanto
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 4:00 pm 
Offline
Carlos Spicy-Wiener
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2009 10:31 am
Posts: 9240
Location: FAP TURBO
Since this sorta came up in another thread, I guess I'll just dump it all here.

Over the last year, before I stepped away from here, I was pretty much a raging dickhead. To a lot of people. A lot of the time. There were many reasons for it, not that it gives me a pass or anything on why. But some of it, maybe.

Late in 2010, and into 2011, my relationship with my ex was falling apart. We had been together something like 6 years at this point, but it hadn't been healthy for some time. The holidays in '10 sucked, and I had already made the decision that things needed to end. That in and of itself was very hard for me to do; This was the woman I was convinced I was going to marry at one point. I had spent the last 2+ years doing everything to make it work, and it just wasn't happening.

It wasn't a quick break. She stopped staying at the house, but she was still around a lot. She wasn't convinced that I was serious about us being done, and she was hoping I'd change my mind. I wasn't. She started moving out slowly, but then turned into a raging bitch. Every time I saw here, it was worse. Finally, after about 3 months of this, she finally moved the last of her things out.

Even then, she created drama, all in the hopes that I would change my mind. It just made things worse for me. The effective 5 months of breakup really took a toll on me in a lot of ways. I turned into a complete raging asshole, and a lot of people here got the brunt of that because I was around so much. The combination of everything was just too much for me to take.

As the summer went on I got a little better, as time and space will usually do. I felt like I was past the worst of it, and was coming to terms with things a little better. My ex and I had talked a little bit, and they were rational adult conversations as opposed the screaming matches I had gotten used to over the years. However, in September, that all changed.

The night before one of my camping trips to Canada, I got a text message from her. Don't really recall what it was about, but I ended up just getting on the phone. In that phone conversation, she told me, completely out of left field, that she was gay, and been hiding it since she was 12 years old. This hit me like a ton of bricks, primarily because to me, it meant that our entire relationship had been built on a lie. What happened in the ensuing months isn't important, but I returned to being that raging asshole again, even worse than before. And, since hockey season was starting, that again resulted in me lashing out here at people, usually for no good reason. I lost two good friends over it, simply because they couldn't handle what I had turned into.

Things are generally better now. Again, time helps, plus she has moved out of state with her girlfriend, so I won't have to deal with certain things that I had to with her still living here. Have my moments, but few and far between. It's all in the past where it belongs.

All that being said, I feel like I owe pretty much everyone an apology. I know I pissed off a lot of people, and I regret it. I'm not asking for forgiveness, but I thought if people understood all the bullshit I was going through at the time, it might help some.

I'm not sure if any of this needed to be said or not, but there it is.


Top
 Profile  
 
Stuuuuuuu
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 4:18 pm 
Offline
Franchise Defenseman
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2009 9:09 pm
Posts: 2876
Location: Portland, Oregano
Sounds pretty fucking sucky. I kinda feel compelled to tell you you're the second guy I know (or "know" in your case) that this has happened to recently. I just heard that one of my good friends is separating from his wife, who he's been with for like over ten years, because she is gay. At least you weren't married like they are, and much worse, they have two kids under the age of five. I feel really bad for both of you, and I have to say it's hard to understand how someone could bring along another person in a lie like that. In the case of my friend she is around 40, and I can't understand why it would take you that long to admit you're gay. Most importantly when someone is thinking that they will be building a life together with you.

Anyway, wait til she starts having to deal with romantic relationships with women. That'll teach her what you've had to go through.


Top
 Profile  
 
SABRESAllTheWay
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 5:26 pm 
Offline
MegaDouche
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2009 9:41 am
Posts: 2752
Location: Fairfax, VA
You've always been a person who sticks to his ideas because they are very factually supported (you've done your research). People love(d) you because of this, and I think that your ordeals had brought you to the tipping point 500% more than you would have normally. You still roll your eyes at a lot of people (not limiting this to only SJ posters) who just state random fact and preach it like it's gospel, and I think you're bringing that part of you back without the drama that ensued after.

Relationships are drama, and it's the shitty end of love. The fact you've been through it, means you know what not to put up with and how to handle things differently. Albeit shitty, it's a great learning experience.

I would love to have you back as mod because you brought a lot to the position and it took a huge hit without ya around. I don't think you will, but I hope you do.

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
YankeeInRaleigh
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2012 6:20 pm 
Offline
Franchise Defenseman
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 21, 2009 9:58 pm
Posts: 2631
Location: Take a guess...
I'm confused, does this mean Jammerz has been right about everything all along? Mind = Blown.

:) good to have you 'back' you total asshat.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron