Ok, Schony....you start......lol

Mine is..

just after boot camp, we all went to get trashed at the camp club. I, of course had more than my share of drink. It was time to pee. I staggered into the lobby and found my way to the rest rooms. "Hmmm, I said...must be a southern thing, no urinals. I'll just use the stall. The door next to me opened and shut. Then all Hell broke loose. The old woman jumped off the stool and ran out the door, fringy panties still around her ankles screaming, "DAYS A MAN IN DARE! DAYS A MAN IN DARE!" Of course this drew a huge drunken crowd of about 200. I emerged with a shore patrol holding each arm, embarrassed as hell and faced the roars of the crowd!

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I try to think, but nuttin happens.......Curley Howard
There is no past as it exists merely as a slippery bond tying the memories of the past to the dreams of the future.............Me
If we started life as an old person and lived until we were young, we would eventually finish off fucked as an orgasm.......George Carlin

me and some friends trespassed at a nudest colony when i was 14, so we could see boobs and such. well, a 4 by 4 rolls up, and everyone runs. not being great at climbing fences, i get caught, while everyone else got away. caught by a naked man. awesome.

i can retell the yeast infection story sometime too.

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I've never done anything dumb...

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Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, 'cause I get better looking each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can.

Sure sure, and nice sig.


I am slowly piling on the dumb things and I love it. Ain't that what life's for?

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Proud LGBTQQ Individual

when i was younger the gravity in parking lots used to fuck with me. as soon as i would start to run, bam!, I would fall on my ass. i have the scars on my knees to prove it.

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this place feels more like home, with one big happy family

Well, there was this one time when I ordered a glass of milk at Perkins and forgot to say please.

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Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, 'cause I get better looking each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can.

You'll have to read the epic stories in my upcoming book: "Put Some Ice On It, Baby" - Sexual misadventures, misadventures with food, cars, drugs, high places...Misadventures with authority figures.

I got a million of 'em. And the fact that I survived them all makes me laugh my lucky (and somewhat scrawny) ass off.

__INSERT__ANY__MORNING__WOOD__STORY__WHILE__AT__CAMP___


One time I wore black shoes with brown pants for the WHOLE DAY! Talk about embarrassing. I vowed never again after that day. I've since let myself down on a couple of occassions.

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All the things we wanted each other to be we'll never be.

A lot of my dumbest moments occurred during a phase I had with my good friend, the ten dollar jug of wine. Very embarrassing times, indeed.

I always get embarassed when I don't know who someone is. In my Stats class the other day, my teacher said something like "Maybe Nigel will know." And I said out loud, "Who's that? Is Nigel your husband?" No, actually Nigel is a kid in the class and he sits in the front row. Eep. :\

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

ATTENTION SABRES: who are you people??!?



http://sabresbecause.tumblr.com

Let's see...once, in front of my whole family, I tried to swing from one tree branch to another 10 or so feet away. I dropped like a stone out out of that tree and promptly fucked my shoulder up.

Then there was that time I rushed out of the walk-in fridge when I was working at McDonald'a with a salad in my hand. Someone left a bun tray on the floor and I stepped right on it, wiping out in epic fashion. My legs go up, my arms go out, and my body goes down. Everyone comes rushing around the corner, yelling "Are you ok?!?!" and all they see is me, sprawled akimbo with a salad, intact, in my hands, grinning like a retard.

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mechaphil

Oh now I have a decent one. Back before I moved we had a pool. I was going to do a back flip off the board. Well I wasn't in the best of spirits and I totally staggered up onto the board only to stagger right off... half my body hit the water, the other half the concrete.

Another good one was when my friend and I wanted to see who would walk the farthest with their eyes closed........... I walked right into a fence. Walked a good 140 ft too before that damn fence got in my way.

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All the things we wanted each other to be we'll never be.

Last year, it was cold, so I had carharts on, I was being my usual smart ass self, and climbed a 15 foot high pile of crushed stone with a bulldozer...king of the mountain. As I got off the bulldozer to boast my manhood, my heal caught the track and went face first into the stone and rolled down the pile like a bowling ball, SPLAT onto the pavement.......10 construction workers, my friends, just clapped and jeered, then turned around and went back to work. Figured if I was hurt, I deserved it. It was a ironic riot, cause one of the ring leaders, later that day, slipped and fell into the creek....on top of a salmon that was swimming upstream to spawn....One of the fishermen there, offered him a pole. I of course, cut and bruised, offered him a stick with a string attached. It was a fun day.

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I try to think, but nuttin happens.......Curley Howard
There is no past as it exists merely as a slippery bond tying the memories of the past to the dreams of the future.............Me
If we started life as an old person and lived until we were young, we would eventually finish off fucked as an orgasm.......George Carlin

I've really never done anything that dumb, but the funniest thing I've ever physically done was running to my roommate's car to be the first to shotgun last year, during the winter. I slipped on a patch of black ice and entirely wiped out. I was laughing so hard that I was crying because I knew how it looked to everybody else; I was on the other side of the car from them at that point, almost to the door, so it was like I was there and then suddenly gone, disappeared.

Yeah, not that entertaining.

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Miles to go before I sleep

‎"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
-Khalil Gibran

The visual is priceless! motzie would love it...............

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I try to think, but nuttin happens.......Curley Howard
There is no past as it exists merely as a slippery bond tying the memories of the past to the dreams of the future.............Me
If we started life as an old person and lived until we were young, we would eventually finish off fucked as an orgasm.......George Carlin

Trying to figure out how to load a 20 gauge that was already loaded and accidently blowing a hole through my parent's bathroom door (no one was home). Good thing in was a bird shot and not a buck shot.

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"...they came down into the stands and asked if I knew how to do play by play. I said...No. But. I'll take a shot at it if you want".- Rick Jeanneret

I remembered something I did that was ridiculous while watching Scrubs this morning. Remember that episode where JD goes to leap over the couch on his way into bed with Eliot? Where he trips on the back of the couch and faceplants hard? Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

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mechaphil

The dumbest thing I ever did? Hmmm, let's see....there are just too many of them to recount here. I'll keep my stupidity to myself, thank you.

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[ERROR 404: User brain not found - Try again later]
"Sarcasm and cynicism: Just two of the many services I provide."
"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."
"You can't polish a turd."

oh, i got another one. at the same party i fucked up my ribs at this summer, i was off to the side, swinging a baseball bat. some kid comes up behind me, and WHACK! hit him right in the forehead, splitting it open. blood everywhere. i felt bad, but as he put it "i saw you swinging the bat. away from everyone, and i still just walked on into your follow through. i deserved that."

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oh you know me so well!