http://www.sabresjunkie.com/forum/

Dear Drew Stafford
http://www.sabresjunkie.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=3918		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  CriminallyVu1gar [ Sun Aug 01, 2010 11:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Dear Drew Stafford
It seems, to our dismay, that you will be wearing the blue and gold for at least part of another year. Thus we are stuck with the player I have dubbed "Helen Keller." It would please us all if you could appear to give a crap more than 25% of the time. I don't know if anyone told you this, but you are 6-2, and 202 pounds. Tyler Ennis and Tim Kennedy are harder to knock off the puck than you. Can you add them together and even make one of you?

Anyways, a lot of us are sick of seeing you put up slightly better stats than Paul Gaustad. Gaustad couldn't beat deceased cattle back to the puck for icing if you gave him a jetpack. You're a first round draft pick for god's sakes. Gaustad was taken 207 spots after you. And at least Gaustad wins faceoffs and beats the piss out of Ovechkin every once in a while

We all loved the way you stood up for Chris Drury in 06-07, but seriously, where did that player go? Did Chris Neil swipe your testicles after he finished beating your ass? Man, what happened? You're like a less dweeby, more musical version of Clarke MacArthur.

Seriously, the majority of us are ready to knock you unconscious with your drums and sodomize you with your guitar.

Signed,
The Fans
Author:  Van_Da_Man [ Sun Aug 01, 2010 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
This thread made me smile.
Author:  Wozniak [ Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
that was great.
Author:  ironyisadeadscene [ Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
i still like stafford.
Author:  fly as hale [ Mon Aug 02, 2010 12:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
There is a guy who I work with looks like a hotter version of Drew Stafford. I have a crush on him but he is my manager's brother so I feel like it would be weird to ~pursue~ it.
Author:  Skyline_BNR34 [ Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
Go for it.
Author:  Van_Da_Man [ Mon Aug 02, 2010 8:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
Two words... Job Security.

Assuming you do it right. :)
Author:  gr8daygo [ Mon Aug 02, 2010 8:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
Van_Da_Man wrote:
Two words... Job Security.

Assuming you do it right. :)


do you really think Fly would do it wrong?
Author:  gr8daygo [ Mon Aug 02, 2010 9:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
Dear Drew Stafford,

After reviewing considerable tape in the off season, it has come to the attention of the front office and coaching staff that you are currently playing like a girl (no offense to any ladies that may end up with this memo). We are unaware of where your testicles have gone to. Management and the coaching staff have decided that the best course of action, is to paint every one of your sticks pink. You will be required to play with a pink stick until the time that you no longer play like a girl (no offense to any ladies that may end up reading this memo). If you continue your girly play into this season, we will also require you to play with pink skates.

We hope this addresses the matter at hand. Please, locate your testicles, reattach accordingly, so we do not have to take further action.

Sincerely,
Lindy Ruff

Image

Image
Author:  OldTimeHockey [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
couldn't Drew have played just a bit better so Burke could have been sold on his upside? I mean he couldn't even play well enough for the "needs a change of scenery" excuse.
Author:  schooner44 [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
I agree with everything said here but don't forget that Stafford has given us all something no other Sabre has done...His Festivus Video. At least we have that.
Author:  Stuuuuuuu [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
So Stafford on the wing and Festivus for the rest of us.
Author:  BlueandYellow [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
Seinfeld sucks.
Author:  Seanothan27 [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
hahaha "dweeb" is the exact word I'd use to desribe Clarke MacArthur :lol:

Stafford better have a Hecht-type turnaround season, or he'll be put on the next plane out of town. Infact, I'm willing to drive him to the airport..
Author:  schooner44 [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
BlueandYellow wrote:
Seinfeld sucks.

Seinfeld haters=Communists

:lol:
Author:  X-pensfan [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 6:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
BlueandYellow wrote:
Seinfeld sucks.


I agree, but I don't hate Jews! lol

In fact I am basically in love with Sarah Silverman.
Author:  Rud [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
Sarah Silverman would be a good comedian if she was funny.
Author:  Seanothan27 [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
Dear Drew,

Way back when, I was very high on you and you so-called "potential". I even bought an signed picture of you, and got it framed. Unfortunately, my feelings on your game have changed quite a bit since then;

1)
Image

2)
Image

3)
Image

:D Prove me wrong, Drew...
Author:  BlueandYellow [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
Seanothan27 wrote:
Dear Drew,

Way back when, I was very high on you and you so-called "potential". I even bought an signed picture of you, and got it framed. Unfortunately, my feelings on your game have changed quite a bit since then;

1)
Image

2)
Image

3)
Image

:D Prove me wrong, Drew...


Niice.
Author:  CriminallyVu1gar [ Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dear Drew Stafford
Haha, hilarious.
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/