LOL, I made a traffic stop on a drunk Latino guy years ago. I'm searching his car and find a clear tape package around paper towels balled up. I investigate with my knife and carefully cut it open, noticing the picture of a man taped on the outside. Sure enough, after ashes fall out in my hands, I realize that it's not drugs, it's the driver's dead brother, and his ashes are now all over my hands. I felt pretty bad, and a little sick, but the driver was so lit up that he didn't get upset about me ruining his little makeshift ashes container.

I couldn't wash my hands enough...for days.

If I had decided to jerk off instead, I probably wouldn't be paying child support...