Hey guys, wanted to see what you would do in this situation.

My wife's friend has two girls ages 2 1/2 and 4. When they come over these two are never told no and pretty much run around like crazy people. Interrupting, talking back, not listening, making messes, not cleaning up after meals etc. Nothing is worse than trying to have a conversation with her while her kid is screaming in her lap.

I'm not saying kids WILL listen to what you try and teach them but it sure doesn't mean you just give up. I had enough of it the other night and said "I can't sit here and talk to you with her throwing a fit in your lap for ten minutes." to which she said "She's two Pat" like somehow that means that the two year old is too young to have even the idea of behaving presented to her.

Kids will be kids of course and my issue is solely with her lack of parenting and not the behavior of the kids. I have three kids, 6, 4 and 5 months. I'm not perfect in my parenting by far but laying out the rules early has given me two well behaved kids (as far as kids go).

So what would you guys do? I can't exactly chew her out or start disciplining her kids and I can't just stop having her over because she's my wife's friend. I feel like if I don't say something calmly soon that it may get to the point where i just lose it....haha!

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Tranquilizer darts?

But seriously, it's well within your rights as a parent who has more experience (your middle child is as old as her eldest) to offer suggestions. Flat-out telling her shit isn't gonna fly (parents ESP don't like being told what to do, but you know this) but coming at it from a "I've been through this, why don't you try" perspective ought to make headway.

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mechaphil

Not to be a complete asshat....but wow do your wife's friends suck

This is the same one who told me that she felt sorry for my wife since I'm going to hell and she'll be in heaven. Also the same one who gave her the "you don't have enough faith" speech about the laying on of the hands and speaking in tongues crap. I think I may hate her.

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Is she hot atleast? Because that pretty well determines the advice I'm going to give

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"She's like plan C after an 18 pack"

Squanto 7/27/2010

I'm thinking of telling my boy to just hip check the little brats.

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Um....I'd do her I suppose.

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Oh, well, that makes things more difficult...

I dunno, I'd still say just politely suggest something as a parent who has been there before. I find little kids obnoxious and rude anyway, so this really isn't my area of expertise...I just wanted to know if the chick was a MILF or not...

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"She's like plan C after an 18 pack"

Squanto 7/27/2010

She used to be, then her husband deployed to Iraq and she gained 30 pounds.

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She's going to hell for being a bad parent.

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"Counting all the assholes in the room, I'm definitely not alone!" ~ Michael Poulsen, Volbeat, Still Standing.

so sexing her would give her exercise and help her back in shape. just saying.

does she apologize for the kids behaviour? if she doesnt, she may not even be aware how obnoxious they are. if she does, shes probably aware, but hasnt a clue how to go about it.

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Yeah she knows...I think. She'll get to the point eventually where she starts laying down the law but it takes a lot. Usually I have to get visually frustrated before she steps in. At the same time i should add that though her house is always clean, she won't lift a finger to clean up here. She won't clean after dinner, take care of her girl's plates or even fold up the blanket she uses when she sleeps over. She sits here texting. She's overwhelmed I know but she's just given up.

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Or is lazy...?

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"Counting all the assholes in the room, I'm definitely not alone!" ~ Michael Poulsen, Volbeat, Still Standing.

I find that people get very defensive when you try to give parenting advice. It's like your well-meant suggestion is a personal attack on their parenting. This is a tough one. But it being your home, you have the right to require civil behavior from visitors.

With the neighborhood kids who come by to play (and these kids have 0 discipline at home) we are very direct and straightforward. We insist they ask to play with toys, and behave in a respectful manner. With these kids who are little terrors the rest of their lives, they're actually rather well behaved at our house. Unfortunately, you situation is different because their mother is there, so the responsibility for enforcing civility falls on her shoulders. If she's shirking that responsibility, it can become quite touchy.

My suggestion would be for your wife to make any comments, not you (you heathen!). It's her friend. But just lay down some ground rules for visits, then leave it up to your wife's friend to enforce it herself.

Ham

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Do you believe yet?

When I've watched her daughters they behaved pretty well. I always do the "Okay, line up" deal where they line up in front of me and I tell them the ground rules. I explain what's okay and what's not. After that they tend to stay in line with minimal voice raising and "time outs". If you're firm with kids but fair they respond pretty well.

These girls are sweet and great friends of my two oldest kids so I don't have any problem with them doing what little kids do. They'll test you every time you turn around but unless you lay out discipline for things they do "wrong" then you're gonna end up with one of those psycho kids that scream and run around Wallmart.

I'm just tired of what should be a relaxing Friday night with friends turning into kid run anarchy. I'm hesitant to just start yelling and tossing butts into corners but I also don't think it's right to sit in my living room chewing through my lip. I'm a parent and my fiends are parents but that doesn't mean we can't get together and have the kids play in the bedrooms and go to bed at a decent time. I mean having her over defeats the purpose of winding down at the end of the week. I want to enjoy a few beers without having to fight back the urge to swat a kids butt.

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practice your skills at ignoring.

crosscheck has said it before and i've heard it from my (not much older) aunts and uncles. parents don't want advice from other parents unless it's solicited.

I'm not talking about a lecture on how she should raise these girls. I'm just tired of her letting them tear my house up. I'm not ignoring any of that. During one visit over here they drew on a drawing of mine that had about ten hours of work into it. It was away on my desk and after being told not to go near my stuff they did anyway and what did their mommy do? Nothing. Also when those girls have no guidance it makes my kids act like idiots too. Hard to explain to them why they are getting in trouble and her girls aren't.

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Yea, I'm not about to let some kids that aren't mine get away with shit at my house because their parents are too busy not saying squat either.

Honestly, lay down the law and if her brat kids keep messing with shit, banhammer them.

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mechaphil

i misunderstood. i thought you were mad because the the tantrums and stuff. i didn't realize they were trashing your stuff.

It's the general idea of having kids over that aren't told no. It's exhausting. They just do what they want, don't listen when I tell them to go play and then make huge messes and get into shit. I ignore it when I'm at her house but fuck if I'm going to ignore it anymore here at my place. Tired of having a huge mess to clean up every time they leave and it's not fair to my kids to have to pick up that disaster in their rooms alone. Also the idea of having friends over to have fun is seriously messed up when you have two kids running around screaming and carrying on. (i mean more than normal kids do)

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