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Talk about the perfect fucking storm.
I wake up early and am going through my usual routine of showering, getting dressed, helping get the kids ready for pre-school, etc. when things suddenly begin taking a turn for the worse.
First, the coffee pot shorts out causing tremendous stress in the ETC abode. I do not function as a human being until I've had a cup of java, and this will cause a whole shift in the morning ritual, requiring a coffee stop that I don't normally need to make that means I need to leave 10 minutes earlier.
Then, as I'm walking out to help get the kids loaded up in Mrs. ETC's car, we get in an argument over stupid shit relating to me "not helping as much as I should in the morning". Fuck, this is annoying. If there is one thing I can't stand it's being bitched and nagged at 7:10am before getting a single sip of coffee into my system.
After they leave, I go to my car and realize my wallet is empty and I need to stop off at an ATM for cash before coffee. SHIT!
I stop for cash and pull out in the wrong direction because I am coffee deprived and can't think straight. I turn back around the right way, and after a couple lights turn off to go to a McDonald's drive thru. Well, apparently this McDonald's is not accessible in the direction I'm going unless I pulled in a block before it into the plaza entrance.
MOTHER FUCKER! I NEED MY COFFEE!!
Anyway, I see that there is a quicky uturn heading back to the main road that I can't get across 3 lanes of traffic for, so I go to the first light and get over to the left lane for a u-turn...but, fuck! The left lane is a school zone that has about a 30 minute wait before I can turn back around! Goddamn-fuck-shit-piss!!
So, I pull out of that lane and just decide to keep going until the next main intersection for coffee - out of my way, but no real choice - and after driving through the empty green light I soon see behind me flashing fucking lights!
So, the cop walks over and says, "You were doing 47mph," and I'm thinking in my head the speed limit is 40, why is this guy being a total dick? Then he adds, "in a school zone".
FUCK! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
So, I said to him (realizing as I am saying it how lame it's sounding), "I thought it was only the turn lane that was the flashing school zone. I got kids of my own, I would never do that intentionally."
He doesn't even give a response, probably thinking I couldn't have given a weaker mercy plea if I tried. He walks away, rights up the ticket, comes back and says, "You were clocked doing 47 in a 15 mph school zone. You were 32 mph over. Please sign here. See the green flyer for more information about the fine."
I look at the flyer after he pulls out, and it tells me I just was handed a $605.00 ass fucking...the mac daddy of all moving violations not involving a crash.
Let me tell you something, this morning really fucking blows!
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Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, 'cause I get better looking each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can.
Last edited by End The Curse on Thu Oct 22, 2009 9:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Just kiddin ETC,
