It looks like 2010 is going to be a big one for my employer’s information security department, aka fascist big brother bastards.
When I get a minute or two at work, I’ll often try to find out about new bands (or new to me at least). If I find something promising I will send an email to my personal account. Trying to download music at my work is not only strictly forbidden, it is not possible. We have no admin rights on our work PC’s to the point where we are not even allowed to de-frag our PC’s! I know – complete corporate idiocy straight out of Dilbert. Anyway when I get home, then I can buy/download the music I like.
I’ve been listening to a lot of pre-punk garage and garage revival stuff lately. Last week at work I read about a band named Mondo Topless and decided to check them out. I sent myself an email with Mondo Topless as the subject and then put the album names in the email itself. I promptly get an email back from some FBI-wanna be information technology department that said my email would not be sent due to the inappropriate subject line. It went on to say that the word “topless” was in violation, and that “topless” has a “value” of 10 points and there was one violation for a total of 10 points. It was like a receipt. There was no mention in their email of what would happen if I get to a certain total point level, and there was never any advance warning of this new “policy”. I’d like to think if I get to certain point total I can get a free lunch or a free vacation day, but chances are that’s not how it works! And just to add more stupidity where you thought there would be no room for more, it is very evident that the IT guys are not checking any of the content in the email, only the subject line. I’m quite sure of this because one of the Mondo Topless albums I included in the content of the email is called “$50,000 Handjob”. I wonder how many points that would have been worth.
Then yesterday, I receive another email from some other flunky IT department which told me that I had created a security risk by listening to .mp3 files that were on a jump drive I plugged into my work PC, something I have been doing for 5 years! And when I say they sent me this email, I really mean they copied me. They sent it to my boss’s boss, complete with a list of every song title I played for a 3-day period! Fortunately, this batch of songs wasn’t as bad as it could have been in terms of tasteless or offensive song titles. “Cum Stains on Your Pillow” by David Allan Coe was thankfully not among them. I was listening to the Dead Kennedy’s at one point, so “Kill the Poor” and “I Kill Babies” were among the titles. A song called “Panty Sniffer” was probably the worst title, which of course is by Mondo Topless!
Anyway, I’m not in any trouble and everyone is having a good laugh, but holy crap! We can’t even listen to cd’s in our work PC’s anymore. It’s crazy.
If you've got a good Corporate Idiocy story, please share.
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