God bless America.

http://toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/ar ... 16/2080342

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Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, 'cause I get better looking each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can.

I swear honey...it was just a charity event. I have no idea how I got glitter on my boxers...

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Hold my beer and watch this...

I sure hope this idea gets picked up in South Florida. It may be the only time I ever get the Lap Dancing green light from Mrs. ETC.

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Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, 'cause I get better looking each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can.

One trip to the champagne room could provide food and water for 10 Haitian children for a week.

Please. Someone think of the children.

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Hold my beer and watch this...

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"Sarcasm and cynicism: Just two of the many services I provide."
"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."
"You can't polish a turd."

Just the thought that I could help save an entire village simply by having three hot nude women engulf me in the VIP Room helps me gain perspective about what's really important in life. Hell, I may even make it rain for Haiti.

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Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, 'cause I get better looking each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can.

I'm choked up just thinking about the sacrifices everyday people will make to help the needy. Here's a news clip about the Lap Dances for Haiti...make sure you keep the tissues handy.

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Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, 'cause I get better looking each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh lord, it's hard to be humble, but I'm doin' the best that I can.