Rider (noun): A clause, usually having little relevance to the main issue, that is added to a legislative bill or contract

The rider has a long and interesting history in many sports and entertainment ventures. These “add ons” to the real meat and potatoes of a contract can range from the frivolous to the humorous. Here are a few examples:

Van Halen (1982): M&Ms backstage, but the brown M&Ms needed to be removed

Roy Oswalt (MLB Pitcher): a bulldozer from Houston Astros owner Drayton McLane

Charlie Kerfeld (MLB Pitcher): 37 boxes of orange Jell-O

Jose Lopez (MLB 2B): $125,000 annually in physical performance bonuses: $25,000 for passing each of 4 in-season physical tests (body-fat percentage, 60-yard sprint, 20-yard shuttle run & vertical jump), plus $25,000 for passing 4 in 1 year

Michael Jordan (NBA PG): had a clause in his contract that allowed him to play basketball anytime in the off-season -- known as the "love-of-the-game clause

You get the picture? Well, this kind of stuff got to thinking: “What might be some good riders for some of the players rumoured to be on the trading block this week?”. Because I tend to ruminate on insignificant stuff like this I immediately gathered up some names of players rumoured to possibly be moving and drew up a few little perks that could be added onto their deals. Let’s take a peek:


Martin Biron: That the “Biron Rule”, stating that players must wear a number from 1 to 98, be revoked so he can return to wearing his original NHL number: “00”


Mike Modano: That he be provided with his own personal, highly trained, ambulance attendents in the event he ever needs to be lifted into an ambulance on a stretcher




Alexei Ponikorovsky: That he be set up with a new husband





Scott Neidermayer: Case of “Just For Men” beard dye for playoff run


Jack Johnson: The option to go back to college if he feels the need (COUGH*hates team*COUGH)


Nathan Horton: A second wedding ceremony to renew his vows with his wife, a former model


Jarret Stoll: A second wedding ceremony to cancel on his next fiancée, sure to be another former model.


Alexander Frolov: Taking on a symbol as his name so he never has to hear himself mentioned in another trade rumour, ever.


Carlo Colaiacovo: Specially designed Body Armour gear made of bubble wrap


Teemu Selanne: In alternating games to go by his auto racing pseudonym “Tommy Lightning”!


Paul Kariya: Gary Suter tied to a chair in a dark room for 5 minutes…


Kyle Wellwood: Unlimited buffet dinner access at local Chinese restaurant


Chris Chelios: Sure, he just got picked up and isn’t about to be traded, but what better way to welcome a guy than……prune juice in his water bottle each game.


Mike Comrie:………………………………Actually, what the hell does this guy really need?!?!? See what he got as a “Thank You” for the engagement ring? I wonder if that meant "Yes"?