Sick Notes
These are real notes written by parents in a [deleted] school district...(spellings have been left intact.)

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out].

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being.It was his father's fault.

15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer fo! R missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Ple ase excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

i found these initally over at CAF, http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?p=5852267#post5852267 and figured it would be nice to share these

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PSA: I am an overly sarcastic person. If you take me at my word, then i will most likely anger and offend you.

spent a weekend with the marines.... me suspects she was tossed around like a ragdoll.

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One time my dad wrote this as an excuse for coming into school late:

"Please excuse Caroline from school this morning. She was watching a documentary on Marilyn Monroe."

saaahh true.

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hockey Night in Buffalo

I had perfect attendance in ninth grade rofl y.

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Miles to go before I sleep

‎"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
-Khalil Gibran

I never had perfect attendance in high school. Or any grade.

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roflmao @ #5 among others

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"It is more about them than it is about the team...Cannot play with them, cannot win with them, cannot coach with them. Can't do it. I want winners. I want people that want to win." - Mike Singletary

Tyler Myers - Future captain of the Buffalo Sabres, and future Norris Trophy Winner

Manning the machine gun on the Tyler Myers Bandwagon - just in case any teams have an idea of prying him away from us (3 GM's shot already)

Connolly/Roy - 2 goals in the last 47 playoff games

I like number 1.

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When I was in high school, I was proud of myself if I would go to school all 5 days of the week.

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hockey Night in Buffalo

A real life tribute to the legacy of no child left behind, generation #1 and #2.............. I rest my case.

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I try to think, but nuttin happens.......Curley Howard
There is no past as it exists merely as a slippery bond tying the memories of the past to the dreams of the future.............Me
If we started life as an old person and lived until we were young, we would eventually finish off fucked as an orgasm.......George Carlin

Ditto I skipped all the time and eventually just said eff it and dropped out. High school was pointless.

I never skipped a day of school - I knew I'd get myself in a shit ton of trouble if I did haha

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mechaphil

I didn't miss a day of high school. I've also never taken a full sick day from any job ever.

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Proud LGBTQQ Individual

I was actually a pretty good student, despite missing a lot of school. I'm still the same way in college.

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hockey Night in Buffalo

Geez, when I read notes like that I instantly expect that the kid wrote them.

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"...they came down into the stands and asked if I knew how to do play by play. I said...No. But. I'll take a shot at it if you want".- Rick Jeanneret

Same here, well I've missed my max amount of days I can in the college I'm at.

And this is in a fasttrack type of class, that just started on Monday. I just haven't felt like going to the Math I've taken in High School already. But I need to so I don't get dropped from it.

Stupid community college.

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Some of those are a hoot!

As you know, a written excuse is to cover the school from liability; it is expressively written the student was elsewhere, and an adult has signed off on it.

My friend Tom was 18 his whole senior year, and he used to go to the attendance office and hand in his excuse. "I was absent yesterday due to feeling ill. Thomas N." A couple of my friends started doing this when they turned 18, as well. I didn't turn 18 until after graduation...

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"I'll rap you with my cane; you pencil necked geek!!"

-Bowler, imitating Freddy Blassie, at the very first M & G.

Yea, and for progress reports when you turn 18 you could sign them yourselves here.

You could check yourself out of school and such.

Same here Howie, I didn't turn 18 until after my graduation.

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I barely skipped high school, but now I skip at least two classes a week, which is a lot when I live on campus.

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Miles to go before I sleep

‎"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
-Khalil Gibran

Yep, I did that once or twice. Didn't turn 18 until the end of the year though.

The attendance office didn't want to take the excuse but I told them they kind of had to. Not like my parents weren't aware of it or anything either.

I never really skipped school though, maybe just blew off the last class of the day or whatever. I could have blown off high school classes though, just sometimes was more of a pain than it was worth.

There's some college classes I'd show up to no matter what though, you miss a class and you fall behind really fast.

those catholic.com folks sure are smart...

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When I was a boy I spoke as a boy, I understood as a boy, and I thought as a boy; when I became a man I took that boy outside and shot him.