hey guys

So, while I dont have the utmost faith in the institution of marriage, I do find myself poised to ask someone to marry me. I've just begun searching for a ring, and see that there are many options, and much i'll need to learn about them. I was hoping some of you guys who have already bought one might have some advice regarding places to buy, cost, whats 'really' important in a diamond, etc etc.

I was planning on spending up to a thousand dollars, I know the diamond industry says 'two months salary'...but the diamond industry can suck a fart out of my ass if they think i'm dropping 6k on a fucking ring.

So, advice?

Two months salary. If you dare utter the words "I can buy a bigger stone later", be prepared to be slapped. Not by your significant other; she'll gladly accept that. By guys like me, who know better....you're never going to buy a bigger stone.

Anyways....for a somewhat limited budget, you're going to have to trade off. The cut is going to determine how "light refracting" it is; that whole "glimmer" that it'll do.

You can get away with middle-of-the-road clarity, because 1k isn't going to buy a 3 carat stone. I'd worry about cut and color, and probably go with a single stone. You'll get a bigger tcw (total carat weight) for your buck if you buy something with a bunch of stones, but I don't find them as appealing.

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Agreed, I like the look of the single stone rings.

It kind of sucks that I cant ask her opinion of this...I could give a crap about the ring personally, I just want her to be happy with it.

As for cost, if I spent two months salary for a ring, SHE would slap me. (thats probably part of the reason I love her so much...)

Find a jeweler you trust.
Local and family owned I find are much better than the chain places.

I can be cost effective to buy the stone at one place and have it set at another. Don't settle for a bad deal on either just to have it all done at one location.
I assume you've read all about the 4 C's...know that shit before you go in to look or negotiate.
It's better if you knew her preference on things because balancing the 4 C's with your budget is all about preference.

larger stone with a small inclusion is OK? fine.
Smaller flawless stone is preferred? Fine....but you should know what she prefers so you can make that decision.

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Hold my beer and watch this...

Yeah. I'd take her "necklace" or "bracelet" shopping. See what catches her eye.

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Dammit...I guess i'll have to include her in this somehow. I'm never able to get away with surprising her with stuff, I have no poker face, she knows something is up instantly. Maybe I should just let her pick out what she likes.

How ya gonna propose?

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Proud LGBTQQ Individual

What about asking one of her friends to take her out looking... set it up like they're going shopping or something and then just let 'em do the girly thing at the store?

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Man, I have no idea. Nothing cheesy, no skywriters, not at a ball game on the jumbotron, nothing like that. Probably just simple, take her for a walk in some beautiful park and wait till the moment seems perfect.

Hm...that just might work. I dont know if her friend will be able to keep the secret though, from my 33 years of trying to understand women one thing i've gleaned is that they are not the best secret-keepers. (sorry ladies)

If you tell one friend, it won't be long before all her friends know about it and then it's just a matter of time until she knows.

As far as your budget, gold is really expensive right now (like $900/ounce when I was going through the same process a few months ago) and that could really take a bite out of your grand. So here's a suggestion: if your mother is still around and if she knows and likes your girlfriend, let her in on your plans. If your mom is like 99% of them, she'll be thrilled at the idea of you getting married. Then, ask your mom if she has any gold jewelry she doesn't ever use or even like (a definite possibility). You could trade in that gold for money off the gold for your engagement ring. Most jewlers I spoke to offered trade-in $ for gold. However if you do this, be sure not to have the jewler melt down the old gold and cast it into your new ring, as that apparently creates inconsistencies in the structure of the new gold that can make it break easily.

Good luck.

I think my preferred method for my future spouse (yeah, like that's ever going to happen) would be packing it into a snowball and hitting her in the face with it. Hey if she can't understand my kind of romance, then screw her right?


In all seriousness, that sounds pretty awesome. I can't imagine many women that wouldn't melt at something like that.

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Proud LGBTQQ Individual

Well, you could also say eff it and get whatever you want

That's kinda what I did. My wife told me she prefers small rings because she doesn't want big ones getting snagged on things....so I got her a giant-ass ring for no other reason than my own ego

If you're fairly confident she'll say yes, she has no choice but to wear what you got her

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Hold my beer and watch this...

Maybe cuz I've always been poor and, if past events are truly the best future indicators, I'll always be poor, but the whole "x month's salary" thing is just a crock of shit for greedy bitches to get huge rocks, and now it's a rule.

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mechaphil

Thats kind of my plan; when I finally decide to pop the question, I'm gonna put a ring so fucking big on her finger some guy's gonna be checking her out, see the ring, and then think to himself "Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn....I can't fuck with that"

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Geez guys, it's not size that matters.

I spent 1K (because I'm fairly poor), and proposed at my favorite place to be. It was at Chalotte Beach (Rochester beach on the genesee mouth). It was almost perfect, I had just picked her up from the train station and we went straight for the beach (since it was winter, I had the element of a incoming lake effect storm, to say I want to get there before that happens). We walked as far as we could on the peer (not very far, too icy), and I walked back and said, maybe the boardwalk there would be fun. So I went in and sat down on one of the pavilions there, and sat her next to me and voila, got on my knee, asked the question, she said yes.

Whenever I go to Rochester I have to go to the lake, it's my favorite place in the whole wide world.


Right after the deed


She couldn't stop taking pictures of it... this is one of them.

My advice, do whatever you damn well please, she gets the wedding, you get the ring and honeymoon

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Ah, good stuff man, sweet story. You both look so happy in that pic.

Word. I put the blame with the diamond companies, if I had to put money on it i'd bet they are the origin of the 'two months salary' rule. I mean...seriously, we should put 1/6th of our yearly earnings into a tiny ass ring!? Gee, Debeers, you sure thats enough? How about my firstborn, and you get to have a roll in the hay with my wife-to-be? Honestly, if I didnt think it would be embarrassing for her i'd get her something besides a diamond. I mean really, how did the custom of putting a specific rock on a ring become SO widespread? She loves Topaz, ideally i'd get her something like that if I didnt think her friends would snicker behind my/her back.

My sister's fiance bought her a ring that was 6k!! And it really isn't that big. He had been saving for a while though. She was kind of mad at him (she's very frugal)

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"Oh honey, I would but...I don't want to" ~ Karen Walker

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engagement_ring#History


Prices can skyrocket if the particular stone is flawless and cut perfectly....more money doesn't always mean a bigger stone.
(of course, we're talking about imperfections a lay person wouldn't be able to detect without a jewelers loop, so that extra value may or may not be lost on a bride to be).

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Hold my beer and watch this...