Great news! I took it into the Apple store and the dude turned off a few settings and BAM! Good as new.

here's how brown cow:

settings/general/home button(the option, not the button)/spotlight search/and then just uncheck everything from contacts to messages

spotlight search is a program that keeps everything that you have checked in constant order, to ensure the quickest possible search when you want to search for something on your phone. it CONSTANTLY runs in the background and THAT is what was lagging mine down! My 3g is back to it's awesome self, no more drama, no more aggravation. Can I get a smiley face up in this motha'? >>>>>> you knew that was coming.

It was under my finger the whole time. DOH!

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"I love that you know how to do that." Cheryl/Carol/Crystal

"And I love that I have an erection that doesn't involve homeless people." Kreiger