Honestly, why are all the best ones taken??.... I liked this girl, Jess, for a reeeeally long time. Over a year. She had a BF, but she was always really nice and kind of flirty with me. I liked her so much. It was ridiculous. Well then this girl tried to set me up with her best friend. I kind of went along with it, because it was kind of a joke, and because it gave me an excuse to talk to her. But then I realized that I liked this other girl. So I started going after her. We ended up dating for about 8 months. Not really that serious, but we did like each other a lot before we realized that we just didn't work together. Well anyways, now in the aftermath of the breakup, I realize that I really still like this girl Jess again. Problem (And not even the obvious problem, that one of my ex's BFs) - one of my good friends (A guy) has also liked her for a long time. Aaand as of today they are now dating. I love the guy, but he's so goofy, and kinda weird looking (Not ugly, but not like really handsome or anything). And she's so pretty, and perfect God, this sounds pathetic, but it's not even like I'm a loser. I'm pretty popular without being too much of a douche, I'm relatively attractive, and I know other girls like me, I'm just not interested in them - another good question. Why do all the chicks that dig you have to be the girls that you're not interested in?? Oh, the universe is a very confusing place...

Fuck Valentines Day and it making me feel like this

Such is life, my friend.

I think we all have that one girl that we'd like most in the world, but for some reason or another, it's just not in the cards.

I'm not saying give up. You never know what the future can bring. Keep rolling with the punches and hold your head high knowing you're a good guy and you're giving it your all.

And who knows. Maybe you'll win this thing in the end.

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Wheelhouse

i feel pretty terrible myself. im in love with a girl who had someone elses son, and they are engaged. hes a nice dude, but he doesnt treat her how she wants, so she wants to stray with me. but i dont want to just have a physical relationship with her. thats wrong, but i cant steal her away without feeling super guilty. but i KNOW i would treat her so well. so tough. i think i can offer her everything he cant. but i dont wanna by shady either.

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Obviously your feelings for her are intensified from your recent breakup, but it's not cool to envy others happiness, in fact you're only depriving yourself of positive energy. Just remember how she set you up with her friend because she was looking out for you and wanted you to be happy, that's a positive feeling. It's okay to let her know how you feel even if she is dating your friend, make it HER choice.

And if you're REALLY COOL, then you can even have her, your friend, and yourself in the same room when you lay it all out there. I'm not talking about a DP scenario. I'm talking about laying out your feelings and without being disrespectful to your goofy friend. And make sure you let them both know that you are happy for them even if she doesn't feel the same way for you.

Worst case scenario: you are still alone.

Best case scenario: she let's goofy dude down easy, he gains respect for you, and you get the girl.

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"I love that you know how to do that." Cheryl/Carol/Crystal

"And I love that I have an erection that doesn't involve homeless people." Kreiger

If you want, you can have a threesome with me and my girlfriend, but you have to pay $$$ for it.

Don't be anything but a friend. There is no scenario that involves her breaking up with him and dating you that is healthy and ends well unless it happens naturally.

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Proud LGBTQQ Individual

Before I met my wife I dated various women for 5 years, 4 years and and 4 years respectively.

That's some serious time with each woman only to have it eventually end.

C'est la vie..have fun, it'll work out in the end

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Hold my beer and watch this...

Yeah I was with my ex for three years.

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Proud LGBTQQ Individual

The only guy I've ever been attracted is single, has always been single, and has told me in the past that he likes me. We'll never be together. He's one of my best friends, and that's all I want. He's frustrated though because he's trying to get out there and date a girl, but all of them think of him as off limits and immediately friend zone him because ever since I was a freshman here everyone has thought we'd eventually end up together (as soon as I met him/saw him for the first time, I knew I completely understood him; it was so odd; he's told me since then it took him a long time to be comfortable around me because we connected really well and I'm the only girl that's ever fully understood him, and I think that connection is evident to others, but it's misconstrued quite a bit). People i don't even know at all believe that and act accordingly. It's kiiiiiind of dumb lol.

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Miles to go before I sleep

‎"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
-Khalil Gibran

PSP - Funny thing is, that's exactly what I told my buddy when he liked the girl he's now with. Oy vey. When I was with my ex, I didn't really like this Jess girl. We were more pretty good friends who I could talk to about stuff. So I guess I just need to find another girl I like and hope she can make me forget about this one.

Irony - I kinda feel the same way. Not that she likes me (I don't think she ever has) but in that I really feel like I would treat her better and just be a better BF. Hey, if your girl wants more than just a physical thing, then go for it if you really think you're better for her. Though the son complicates things...

PensFan - I know she does. That's what makes her so awesome. There's no BS about her. She's just really cool.
I don't think that scenario would go over so well. My friend is a little bit on the jealous side. He would HATE me if I did that. And it would destroy my friendship with both of them, and be really awkward. Plus, I really do like my friend. He's goofy, but we're bros. I'm happy that he's happy. I just love the girl he's happy with.

CV - How much? Though I've always imagined that with 2 girls. Hmmm.... Totally agree with your last statement though. There is no way it would work out unless it just happens naturally. And even then it might still be weird.

Cross - True. I know plenty of people who had long relationships with people, and now are really happy with their current BF/GF. In all likelihood, I'll meet a girl better than the one I like now and be very happy. Stupid high standards....

ATL - Then date him! Still be BFs, but with a little extra on the side

we talk all the time, and she tells me she thinks her and her fiance have an expiration date, but she owes it to her son to try. she did tell me the minute they call it quits, if they do, she wants to see what i can bring to the table.

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One... Ive had 3 of those...lol... highschool. college. mid20s... highschool i never really went after her, we were friends, but the timing was never right (probably should have been more persistent)... college, i went after her, but she with a screwed up dude and I was probably to persistent... mid20s, well that one just never worked out.... now i just go about it and whatever happens happens.... lol... gotta agree, you just gotta roll with it... you never know what may come of it...

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I dated the same guy for 5.5 years and in the end, I just felt like it wasn't meant to be anymore. We split and he immediately got a new girlfriend, so I just started doing my own thing. I met another guy and fell so hard for him, but he had been burned and didn't want a girlfriend anytime soon. He definitely wasn't lying because I'm pretty sure he is still single now and this all happened back in 2008. After that didn't work out, I just decided to focus on myself and school and enjoy life.

It was my first year as a declared accounting major and I started taking my upper level classes. In one class, there was a group project where the teacher assigned the members. The group worked pretty well together and everyone was really nice. One day, our second project together was due when my computer decided to take a shit and I lost my part. I called one of my group members frantically because I thought he was the only one who would help. He came to pick me up so we could work on it and I thought it was really nice that he stepped up like that (obviously there is self interest because his grade was on the line, too, though ). As we were working, we got to talking and had a lot in common. We eventually started hanging out more and more and now we've been dating over a year.

I'm a firm believer in this quote, "good things fall apart so better things can fall together." It may not happen right away, but everything happens for a reason. I didn't date anyone for a year and a half after my relationship ended and definitely had my heart broken in between, but it only has made me a better person. The time away allowed me to know what I wanted for myself and at least gave me somewhat of an idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I'm just really happy right now and I owe a lot of it to just getting my own shit straight and focusing on myself.

I know it's cliche, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. The great thing, too, is that you are so young and have so much of your life in front of you. After a break up, sometimes you just feel any relationship would be better than none. It's definitely not true. Focus on making yourself a better person (in your own eyes, not someone else's) and put yourself first. Do things that make you happy, pick a goal to work on, volunteer, or a combination or whatever. I feel that if you can show people that you can take care of yourself, then it shows you can definitely take care of them. That's an admirable quality.

I know it sounds annoying to have people sitting here telling you, "it's just one girl" or "you're young, don't worry" or whatever, but we have felt just as you have and had people tell us the same thing. It is true, as much as we don't want to admit that we didn't think so at the time. Not to mention, Valentine's Day just seems to shove everything in your face. Honestly, on the Valentine's Day I was single, I was out job hunting because I found out I was laid off just a couple days before. I went to Red Lobster to apply not really thinking about what day it was, only to see it slammed packed with a 3 hour wait for what seemed to be a countless number of couples waiting to eat. It was a little depressing, not going to lie, but it is what it is and I didn't let it bring me down that day.

Okay, I've said a lot. PM me if you ever need to rant or anything. I love listening.

All this talk of past relationships has me wanting to share..

*WARNING* Kind of a long one here...

In the fall of 2004, this girl had moved into my aunt's place and was attending university, first year. My aunt had a huge house and was renting out the top level of this place as shared accommodations. We kind of got to know each other over the course of the school year as I was living there too, working and helping out with bills and being kind of like a maintenance guy.

The start of the next school year, she moved back in and we really hit it off. Although we had to keep things kind of hush hush so the others living there wouldn't think she was getting any rebates or special treatment since she knew the family of sorts. By the end of the school year, I moved out and got my own place. She eventually moved in and we became pretty serious. That's when shit hit the fan and I really seen who and what she was all about. At first, I was sure it was just some low self-esteem issues as her previous BF treated her like absolute shit. I never gave her a reason to doubt anything about our relationship but she was always leery of other girls. She became her own worst enemy that summer and it got to the point that I wasn't allowed to have any friends of the female persuasion (Aside from family). Finally, she broke up with me which made things kind of weird because I was really good friends with her brother. We'd always talk hockey but mostly music. \m/ *Fellow metal heads unite* \m/

Soon came the fall again and after having not spoken in about 3 months, we ran into each other one night at an open mic event. Had some laughs reminiscing over old times, a couple beers and called it a night. A few weeks passed and next thing you know, we're back together. Things really seemed to be better than the past as she seemed more understanding to the fact that although a guy may have female friends, it doesn't mean he's cheating on you with them. That was short lived and as luck would have it; the old ways came roaring back. So much to the point that even if I went to hockey on the weekends, she would sit in the apartment, inside her head thinking of the people I may have been with while we were apart (Which was no one). I'd come home and have to put on the battle armour as we'd fight all night long. That was when I put my hockey on hold to have more contact with her as I thought for sure this would cure things. Her bro and I formed a band and we'd always practice at their folks place. He played Guitar and I was the drummer. Added in a bass player and things got pretty serious. Then, she began thinking of the off chance that we actually started playing some gigs , there may be girls hanging out which took her back to that ugly place. After trying, pleading and begging for her to come back down to earth, we finally called it splits Ville one final time.

Spring & summer would pass and soon came the fall once again. My dad had been diagnosed with brain cancer and what are the fucking chances that this nutcase was his attending nurse in the Palliative care unit right up until he passed away. We still had some run-ins of the not so friendly nature but the old man got along with her just fine. After that I stayed single and couldn't be bothered with anyone for about 2 years. The band fell apart and because things would have been just retardedly weird, I cut off ties with her brother even though we were usually joined at the hip when it came to music. She now lives about 2 hours away and I pity the guy she's with. Looking back on things, out of that relationship, the most unfortunate thing is that I had to leave the band. MAN we had some heavy songs!

Fast forward to today, I'm engaged to an amazing chick who is as low maintenance as they come, who loves beer, killing copious amounts of zombies in various xbox games, heavy music (to an extent), turned into a Sabres fan and allows me to have my own double kick drum kit in our house. More specifically, my Sabres room Oh, and she’s a medic, too. So when I break myself at hockey, she’s always there to patch my sorry ass up.

Love is the shit!

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If it's a tight squeeze, spit on it! - NyI

He's a middling AHL player who had the good fortune of a drunk arbitrator. - The Squanto re: Tim Kennedy

relationships just kind of suck. my ex and i have been off for 2.5 months now. and yet we constantly fight still. last night he called me at 3 a.m. and pretty much aired his grievances. i don't care about him or what he thinks of me anymore at this point, and yet hearing him say such hurtful stuff just killed my heart. i never did anything bad to this guy.
i never cheated on him or did anything hurtful, and yet he spent 2 hours telling me in the middle of the night how his ex-girlfriend(who cheated on him) was a much better person than me. that he can't think of one nice thing to say about me.. that part of the fact he broke up with me was because he likes one of the girl who he works with. and that he slept with a girl that i know and have never cared for purely because he knew it'd hurt me. oh, and after that last one he had the nerve to tell me how i'm a major slut and am useless for anything. i've spent all night/morning crying or trying not to cry and let what he said get to me.


also, he was one of the "good ones" before all of this. we had known eachother since i was 14, i'm 22 now, and i always had feelings for him . so pretty much they're always the good ones until you've had them. after that they just turn into monsters.

dudes suck. except me. im the best one ever. fact.

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It sounds like he is not a very nice person. It may not have seemed that way during your relationship and I'm sure you have really nice memories of the two of you, and I bet you didn't really have anything bad to say about him until after your break up. It's clear he's trying to get under your skin and he's succeeding. Obviously it would be hard not to let it, so don't let that part get you down. It's okay to cry about it and get it out of your system.

Stop talking to him. Change your phone number, delete him from Facebook (if applicable), and just cut him out of your life. It's not doing either of you any good to keep in contact with each other and it will save you a lot of tears. He's clearly not the same person you once knew and you're not receiving anything positive by keeping some sort of relationship. No one deserves to be called the names you were, especially by someone you love(d). He's intentionally trying to hurt you, which makes his actions much more vicious and inexcusable. Don't let him do that to you.

So true.

"Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge."

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Wheelhouse

i can honestly say i did something like this to my ex. heres the story.

we dated for a year and a half, and we broke up when her friend informed me she had cheated on me in my car (she borrowed it) we broke it off, but talked now and then. a few years down the road, im in florida with my friends. one friend comes out of the shower naked, and proceeds to swing his cock around. i took a picture of it (because come on. penis's are funny) and sent it to my friend adam. or so i thought. i sent it to her. her boyfriend called me, and we exchanged words. i got the better of him, and she got on the phone. we started yelling, i explained how it was a mistake, i was sorry, but she kept on going. eventually, she said something that made my vision my fuzzy, and rage come out of my mouth. i told her i dont blame her mom (who has been in legal trouble for years for heroin abuse) for using drugs to escape the reality that her daughters such a fuck. everything went quiet, and she started crying, and she hung up. i instantly realized i said something terrible when my room mate looked at me and said "dude, you are going to hell." and left the room.

somehow, her and i are now on good terms, i apologized profusely, and were ok now. but that was a terrible thing i said, and its not really who i am. but when i want to win something, i win it. not something im proud of.

oh, and her friend bullshitted the story of her hooking up in my car because she didnt like me. found that out recently too.

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The biggest failure in my past relationships was not having the ability to admit when I had made a mistake. In the heat of the battle when disagreements happen it's way too easy to lose control and not realize that maybe you are the one at fault and not them. I know that hindsight is 20/20 , but as long as you are willing to admit things are your fault, then you can expect the relationship to last. Although you may want resolution ASAP, it's actually a really good idea to let both individuals calm down for a while and then discuss issues. It's at a calm state that it's easier to realize it may be your fault.

Another failure was letting love blind me. When it came to the point that I should have gotten out of relationships, I let my penis make decisions for me and that was the wrong thing to do. Sometimes it just isn't worth pursuing any further. My ex and I split up due to the fact that we were just incompatible. We had never fought, never got mad at each other, we just realized that it wasn't meant to be. It was then that I realized the importance of that ability.

I've learned things the hard way, but I don't think I would ever change that. It made me who I am today, and with my first relationships lasting at most 2 years, I'm now engaged and have been with my Fiancee for almost 5 years. I'm sorry it took me that long to figure things out, but it led me to someone I couldn't see being without for the rest of my life.

Best of luck to everyone out there! Patience is truly a amazing quality to have!

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I just never bothered, and when I do I remember how smart I am. Nobody wants me around and the feeling is mutual.

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"I love that you know how to do that." Cheryl/Carol/Crystal

"And I love that I have an erection that doesn't involve homeless people." Kreiger