Hummmmm, I don't like having four hours to sleep and then proceeding to wake up every 5-15 minutes throughout those four hours. I feel like I'm floating or something right now. It's bizarre. I'm done mentioning this kind of thing to friends. They're all, "Aren't you used to that by now? It happens to you all the time," and I'm just like, "That's not something you get used to." Blaaaahhhhhhhh.
icehound wrote:
acrossthelines wrote:
Once I graduate, I want to fast forward my life ten years.
No. You don't.
You may think you do. But, every second of every minute of your life - every heartbeat, no matter how insignificant or painful - is worth something of greater value than anything else.
It's your life. It will eventually end. Relish it, in it's completeness.
Embrace it, tightly.
Oh, I will. I love my life; I was purely speaking on the level that says that the ten years after I graduate will be spent doing nothing but waiting to do what I have always wanted to do, essentially. I am well aware that they should be some of the best years of my life. Those I know who lived in what would be considered poverty by most Americans before they paid off their student loans often wish they could go back to that, now that they are financially established. I only fear being alone in an unfamiliar city, becoming one of those people that asks for directions just to talk to someone, or someone who wanders the streets at night looking for a person to talk to. That would be me... I fear that, and I have wanted nothing more in my life for than to adopt older children out of the foster care system, ever since I was a child myself. Even if I never marry, I will still do so as a single parent; I have read enough testimonies from those who were adopted in such circumstances to know that it is still the best decision. I've known that to be my purpose in life ever since I was nine years old, and the desire has not at all abated... Before I pay off loans and save up the money for a down payment on a house, everything else will just feel like a waiting period. It already does.
But, I recognize that they will still be the most valuable years of my life, if not the most enjoyable (typically, the most valuable times are the worst, anyway). And I do want to experience them. I just don't want to sink back into how I used to be. It would happen so easily if I don't end up living near anyone I currently know... It's hard enough fighting loneliness when I actually
have friends now, for the first time in my life. It should be interesting, though. Overall, I'm definitely optimistic about the rest of my life.