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AudSabres
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:45 am 
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End The Curse wrote:
Tiger's next step...

Appearing in a press conference standing with his wife, Tiger Woods tearfully admits to the world that he has been battling a serious addiction to pain killers and sleeping pills the past couple years, and announces that he'll be checking into a rehabilitation clinic right away. He informs us that the addiction took over his life, causing him to make terrible decisions which caused serious pain to himself, his family, as well as his golf game.

Tiger apologizes to his fans and hopes they will be able to forgive him, and says his only priority now will be to get well again and be there for his family.

Six weeks later, Tiger goes on 60 minutes and discusses how getting clean was the toughest thing he's ever had to do, and that his recovery is still day-by-day. He also tells us how God helped him through, and that despite he doesn't deserve her forgiveness, his wife has stayed with him through this entire ordeal.

Tiger than admits to a limited number of "transgressions" regarding his fidelity, and says the media reports were way overblown. He then says that this terrible episode allowed him to understand how precious his family is, and what's really important in life.



Damn, ETC. While you're at it, can you look into that crystal ball and snag me the winning lotto numbers? I'd appreciate it! :P j/k

That sounds pretty spot on with what every sports/celeb figure has done and for some reason, the people lap it up like warm milk. I for one, think he's a douchebag. It's not like he had a devil on his shoulder telling him what to do. Some titties were shoved in his face and he thought, "I'm tiger woods, people love me. I'll never get busted!"

He might have all the money one in his "Profession" (I use that term lightly) can have, the house everyone might want and a model for a wife. Fact is, he's no better than the office guy who is pluggin a co-worker or secretary in the closet and goes home to his family. People will call the office guy a dirty cheating bastard. While Tiger, oh he's a role model. Screw you, Woods. You made that bed now go lay in it. With one of the 10 you've porked.

No remorse for you! :snooty:

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slesh
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:49 pm 
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WOW! I Guess having a Swedish Bombshell as a wife just wasn't enough for him.
He likes pancake flippers? I knew I should have sent the wife to work at IHOP!!! :o :mrgreen:

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Crosscheck
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 3:46 pm 
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http://www.celebrityclubber.com/uncateg ... production

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Wyohomeboy
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 4:20 pm 
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Crosscheck wrote:
http://www.celebrityclubber.com/uncategorized/tiger-woods-fiasco-takes-next-logical-step-a-porno-about-the-recent-events-is-currently-in-production


Coming soon, to a sticky-floored theater near you!!

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Howie Hodge
PostPosted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 1:02 am 
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It'll never be as good as Candy Goes To Hollywood; The Johnny Parson Show segment is the stuff legends are made of!!

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sabretoothpick
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:15 am 
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End The Curse
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:22 am 
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sabretoothpick wrote:

Fucking hilarious!

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Howie Hodge
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:56 pm 
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sabretoothpick wrote:


"The course was good."

"My wood was good"

"The wind was not a factor."

"I messed up my shot."

You go Mr. Personality!! :lol:

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Wyohomeboy
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 8:26 pm 
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In todays Yahoo News it says he is taking a leave from golf to spend time with his family. My guess is you can replace family with lawyers, and his statement should read "I am going to be spending a lot of time with my lawyers, and preparing for the fucking I'm going to get, for the fucking I got" ;) ;) ;)

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CriminallyVu1gar
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:02 pm 
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I don't understand what the big deal is.

Tiger Woods never pretended to give a shit about his fans.
Tiger Woods never acted like anything but an asshole.

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Skyline_BNR34
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:07 pm 
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HAHAHAHAHA hilarious video.

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CriminallyVu1gar wrote:
No need for violence, just tell her she's got a game misconduct and show her the door.

Rud wrote:
As I said in the GDT, the call on Rivet was horseshit. The Bruins player was holding onto Rivet's stick like it was the last fucking raft on the Titanic.


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Howie Hodge
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:07 pm 
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$300 million is the pre nup. He pays it, then continues to bang as many IHOP waitresses as he wants. Word of advice Tiges; ger a vascectomy asap.

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"I'll rap you with my cane; you pencil necked geek!!"

-Bowler, imitating Freddy Blassie, at the very first M & G.


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motzie12ak
PostPosted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 3:31 pm 
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http://www.sphere.com/nation/article/ti ... 2F19274018


oh dear..hahaha


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ItsMe
PostPosted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 4:01 pm 
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More repressed "professionals" jumping on the media circus wagon to exercise their own addictions to tabloid publicity. *facepalm*

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