Hello, all.
I have been inexplicably absent since January 3. I believe that I owe some folks on these boards an honest accounting of my behavior.
I had been under extreme duress, as regards my job and the hours I had been working. I was also suffering (and still am) a domestic existence that left a great deal to be desired; to say the least.
In this regard, things have changed little – If at all.
Unfortunately, my father had been in ill-health and that situation had pretty much driven me to the point where I felt compelled to “prune” away a great deal of what I had deemed to be inessential to my immediate existence; I had been pushed to the ragged edge.
Further contributing to my self-imposed exile was a growing feeling of intolerance and isolation that had grown as a result of the many new members, their “take-it-for-granted” attitude, and some festering disagreements (I had fostered) with certain attitudes I found ingracious and somewhat malignant to what I had embraced as “our” sense of the Sabres’ Hockey (strictly Hockey) community.
The “fuzziness” of our collective mission, and the disruptiveness of the topics which many had chosen to explore, disturbed and alienated me greatly.
There were also things which I had read (and which I subsequently removed) perhaps posted in levity, attempted humor and casually (as a result of inebriation) which I found to be brutally inhospitable and disrespectful to longstanding and ardent contributors.
Perhaps my outrage was the trigger for my departure; it seems in retrospect to have been the proverbial “straw”.
I am not regretful that I left. It was the right thing for me to do, based on the principles and values I uphold. It was desperately needed by me, at the time.
Perhaps, my only regret was that I could not articulate an acceptable or adequate forewarning or explanation, at the time.
My father has since passed away – And that has left me with the need to appreciate a closure (or completeness) which I felt had to be attempted – And this is my attempt.
So many things pass, and we all barely ever think, or make the effort, to say an honest word about them…until it’s far too late.
These are
my honest words - Directed to all of you who have grown to know me.
If forgiveness is required, I should ask it of you few, in this post.
I am still somewhat disillusioned and disappointed by our “noble experiment” – Though, by no means do I mean that as an indictment to those who toil daily, to make this site a better place.
I respect and admire their tenacity; as moderators and members (new and old) and optimistic contributors; they carry a deep-seated goodness and hospitality and amity with them.
To those of you who still consider me a friend and hold tightly to the hope that I may return (and I do occasionally drop by anonymously to indulge my secret need to revel in your generosity) – I am afraid that that seems more unlikely, as I gain distance and independence from this community.
I have been forced to invert Spock’s dictum, that “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” The needs of the many be damned. I have chosen to move on; as painful as it has been.
My heartfelt appreciation, for a couple/three very good years (in spite of the goings-on in the Hockey world) and a multitude of spirited exchanges and timeless friendships.
I shall try to drop in, when possessed by whim, to lighten, brighten or edify (when possible.) But I haven’t the energy or motivation to commit to more than that; a noncommittal commitment, if you will…for “old-times” sake. Besides, every “Junkie” eventually needs to find their rehab.
Cheers, and thanx, so much.
…and goodnight, Mrs. Calabash – Wherever you are.
Dan.
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